Surreal

Good evening, dears!

I was marching around the restaurant at work earlier this evening like the post-finals zombie that I am, when I realized something quite unique. Today was surreal. What happened today that made it so “surreal,” you may ask? Well today, I took my final exam in Biology, walked out of the room, and drove to work.

Huh. Well now that really is quite something (sarcasm). Let me explain.

I began thinking about the moments in my life that I counted as being “surreal;” this is what I came up with (in no particular order):

1. Walking down the isle at my brother’s wedding
2. Flying over Ireland and seeing the hillsides just precisely as I’d always pictured them to be
3. Holding Benjamin and Joanna for the first time
4. Performing at my old dance recitals
5. Standing three feet in front of my first Van Gogh
6. The day my braces were taken off
7. My last day at Capernwary
8. The day my grandma went Home
9. Hearing “Yellow” played live
10. Watching the sun set behind the Alps

These are just a couple of the moments that I would say, without doubt, are some of the most memorable, surreal days in my life thus far. I remember them each with such clarity, and I remember during each of these moments thinking, “I will recall this moment - it will be with me - forever.” Sort of eerie - mostly beautiful.

I feel like there are levels of “surrealness.” Today, for instance, would be a level 1, perhaps. It was surreal, but not enough so that I will always relish it. It was surreal in that, after leaving the exam, I felt a sort of euphoria, lightness, happiness…peace. I’ve been grappling with taking time off since I declared that to be my plan (if you know me, you know my zealous dedication to school), and I’ve thought for a while that today would be a tough one for me – I didn’t want to feel lost or as though I’d made a wrong turn. Instead, as I left, I let the love I have for school, the excitement for the things unseen, and the confidence in doing what I felt was right wash over me - I know I’ll return to school, perhaps not that one, perhaps so.

Regardless, things began falling into place for me today that I suspect have been dawdling in the shadows - things I haven’t been allowed to see or be aware of until I followed through with what was right for me. I think a lot of life is a test (hence life of school – ha), and a lot of it is aced through follow-through and faith. I’m trying desperately to attain completeness in both. I’m trying.

Today was surreal.



Adoringly,
Yours